España

Spanish


Spanish is essentially Italian spoken by Arabs.
--Benct Philip Jonsson


Castilian Spanish is mostly your average Spanish spoken while gagging on paella rice.
--Javier de la Rosa


Castilian Romance is nothing but Latin spoken by Basque lips and transformed by evolution in an environment of Basque habits and of Basque phonetic tradition.
--P. Ormaechevarria, via David Mediavilla Ezquibela


Andalusian Spanish is essentially Castilian with needless syllabic appendages circumcised.
--Javier de la Rosa


Puerto Rican is just Spanish as hurriedly spoken in substandard housing in the Bronx.
--Ilvi


Cuban Spanish is essentially Spanish as spoken on the express train.
--Angel Ortiz


Argentinean is essentially Italian spoken so that other South Americans can catch on.
--ilvi


Spanish is essentially a dialect of Californian English used for increasing the value of real estate. (Gee, wouldn't this faux Spanish strip mall be worth $200,000 more if it was called Plaza del Mucho Dinero?)
--Jeffrey Henning


Mexican is essentially Castilian Spanish as spoken while excreting hot peppers, therefore without the superiority complex.
--ilvi & Ivan C. Amaya


Mexican essentially sounds like Japanese pronounced with a strong Irish brogue.
--Heather Grove


Conversely, Japanese sounds like Mexican with all the vowels removed.
--Heather Grove


On the other hand, Mexican is essentially Nahuatl with enough Spanish and English borrowings to keep from scaring off tourists (ask anyone from Spain, it certainly isn't Spanish).
--Heather Grove


Ladino is essentially Spanish as spoken while haggling at overseas markets.
--Jay Bowks


Judeo-Spanish is essentially the perfect auxiliary language squelched by Arabic and Hebrew.
--Javier de la Rosa


Silbo is essentially Spanish as blown through the lips.
--Ilvi


Papiamento is essentially Dutch Spanish.
--John Cowan


Papiamento is essentially Spanish as spoken after one too many shots of Captain Jack.
--Javier de la Rosa


Mexican Spanish is essentially all consonants.
--John Cowan


Caribbean Spanish is essentially all vowels.
--John Cowan


Ladino is essentially Spanish vowels with Portuguese consonants written in Hebrew by people living in the Netherlands and Turkey.
--Steg Belsky


Spanish is essentially Japanese with a few consonant clusters added to fool you into thinking it's Romance.
--Steg Belsky


Cuban Spanish is essentially what happens to a person's throat after 4 decades of yelling "Fuera Castro!!!"
--Ivan C. Amaya


Spanish is essentially the English of the future (it is now the second most spoken first language).
--Danny Wier


Spanish is essentially Latin spoken by Iberians, with Basque phonetics.
--Javier Candeira