España

TOP 15 REASONS FOR BEING PORTUGUESE AND NOT SPANISH

You don't have a glorious history of killing South American tribes--your forefathers killed a few Africans instead.

You don't have groups like ETA trying to blow you up. You can die little by little on the highways.

Because most of your beaches are ice cold you aren't invaded by Germans, Dutch and Brits every summer.

The rest of your country isn't taken over by Moroccans. (It's taken over by Ukranians instead.)

No region of your country wants to separate, except for some disgruntled people in Porto and they don't count.

You don't get to eat bull's testicles.

You have better soap operas from Brazil than the ones Spain gets from Mexico or Venezuela.

You don't have to dress up in tights and prance around in front of a bull just to bed a woman.

You don't have to wake up at 9.00, have a siesta between 1.00 and 3.00, have dinner at 10.00, and party until 4.00.

You don't have to enter a café and find shells of sunflower seeds all over the floor.

You don't have to put up with the Portuguese emigrants crossing your country every August.

You save money by not having a monarch so there is more for your politicians to throw away on football stadiums for Euro 2004.

You can watch your movies with subtitles and not have to put up with dubbing.

You don't have to drive so far to visit Fátima.

You don't have to try to explain why millions were killed in a civil war and why streets, plazas, and plaques still bear the name of Francisco Franco.